The Dumb Wife
There was a jovial blade, and he married a country maid,
So safely he conducted her home, home, home.
She was neat in every art, and she pleased him to the heart,
But alas! and alas! she was dumb, dumb, dumb.
She could brew, and she could bake, she could cut and she could
She could sweep in a house with a broom, broom, broom.
She could card and she could spin, she could do most anything,
But alas! and alas! She was dumb, dumb, dumb.
A doctor, he lived nigh, and to him he did apply,
To cure his living wife of the numb, numb, numb.
He cut the chatting string, and her tongue began to ring,
And it sounded in his ear, like a drum, drum, drum.
Her tongue began to walk, and she began to talk
The same as if she never had been dumb, dumb, dumb.
She filled the house with strife, made him weary of his life,
He'd give anything again if she was dumb, dumb, dumb.
To the doctor he did go, with his heart full of woe,
Saying: Doctor, Oh, Doctor, I'm undone, undone, done.
For my wife, she's turned to scold, and her tongue she will not
I'd give anything again, if she was dumb, dumb, dumb.
It is the easiest part that belongs to my art,
To make a woman talk that is dumb, dumb, dumb.
But it's past the art of man, let him do the best he can
To make a scolding wife hold her tongue, tongue, tongue.